Me and mine, mostly mine

So true

2012-02-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

:-)

2012-02-02T08:29:00.001-08:00

Snow!

2012-01-30T11:33:00.000-08:00

We don't get very much snow here so when it happens it is exciting. Today it didn't snow here in the valley but up in the hills. Our friends from Argentina wanted to take their daughter who had never seen snow so we went for an adventure. Here are some of the photos I took with John's Iphone.

Do as I'm Doing

2012-01-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

I noticed that it was time for the younger children to go to bed last night. I started to walk towards the lounge and I heard me! I heard the exact words I say when I send the little ones to bed. And because the younger three don't give much respect to their older sisters I also heard what I say when they are being disobedient. It was my daughter sending her siblings to bed. It was not just the words she used but also her voice sounded like mine and her tone. Recently I saw a quote that said:

What the daughter does, the mother did.
Well I hope that will not be the case in all areas as I would hate my girls to make some of the stupid mistakes I made. But I do see my girls copy me which can be both terrifying and complimentary. Here are five things I hope my girls do better than me. Without explanation.
1. Manage their money
2. Manage their relationships. With boys and family.
3. Recognise their self worth.
4. Education, education, education.
5. Tidy as they go. Their rooms and their lives.

Making Goals

2012-01-27T08:35:00.000-08:00

A while ago I found mine and John's wish board. Probably about 8 years ago someone had advised us to cut out of magazines photographs that would symbolise our goals. We did it as a bit of fun. Mainly because that week John's Mum had given us a pile of her old magazines. I think in total we pinned about 20 pictures on our wish board. For example there was a photo of a student on their graduation day throwing their cap in the air. One of John's and my goals at the time was to further our education and graduate. It was really interesting looking at the board as we had achieved about half of them. The board was placed in the corner of our bedroom for years and as with all familiar things not really noticed. When we moved to Spain it was moved to the loft and totally forgotten about. I realise now, that even subconsciously we were aware of that board and I believe it did help us reach some important land marks in our life. Anyone have any old magazines?

The Driving Test

2012-01-26T06:54:00.000-08:00

My oldest son takes his driving test tomorrow. Yes my son is taking his driving test, not me, so why am I so nervous for him? I passed my driving test first time, thankfully, not sure I would have coped with the nerves of taking it again. The only thing I objected to about my husband now applying for jobs all over the world is the thought of having to retake a driving test somewhere. It is not the driving, I believe I am a good driver. It is the pressure and stress of it all. Tests, I hate them. I loved that my photography degree was exam free. Essays I can write no problem when I am given time, but put me in a room with a bunch of other people sat at small desks and everything goes pair shaped. I left high school with the grand total of two 'o' levels (yes I am that old) and then went back to college to get GCSE's. My exam days are over. But good luck son!

Sticks and Stones

2012-01-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

One of my children began to sing a naughty (not really) rhyme today in the car that I recognised from my own childhood. I heard one of my boys say "You stole that from me!" The other boy responded, "No, Tom Davis made it up." I wondered if I thought it was new when I was seven in 1977? Of course my children could not believe it when I knew the rhyme, and I added that I heard it when I was at school. Not only is it difficult for them to believe I was ever seven, but even more hard to understand is that I was ever naughty enough to recite a cheeky verse. OK, they probably do believe the last one.
We were sat around as a family the other day discussing the differences in behaviour in schools from the 1970's and 80's to the 00's. I think this discussion stemmed from one of my older boy's law class where they discussed corporal punishment. Our kids could not believe that teachers where ever aloud to hit children. John gave an amusing account of having been given the slipper. The children sat with mouths open. Points raised by the children about changes today were: 1. Drugs. John and I didn't encounter drugs until college days. When I say encounter, know about, not experiment with; 2. Gay issues. Again, something not encountered until college for both John and I; 3. Teen pregnancy. I am sure statistics would probably say differently, but I am not sure much has changed there; 4. Alcohol abuse. Not much change. 5. Smoking in school. I actually wondered if that had become better. There seems to be less teen smokers around than I experienced in school; and 5. Bullying. Eternal problem. So, other than a couple of things, I guess I have realised that things are not as bad as people sometimes make out. Are our children having to cope with more than we had to? Well, they don't get the slipper for being late for school. Some things have changed. They are still sharing the same jokes and cheeky rhymes John and I used to hear. Some things stay the same.

Lampeter

2012-01-25T10:56:00.000-08:00

Today John and I spent the day in Lampeter, a sacred place for me. John and I had not long been married and I could tell he was unhappy with his work. I asked him what he wished he could do for a job. His reply: A literature university lecturer. I encouraged him to apply for a place at Lampeter University, and he was accepted right away. I will never forget that day as I played with the kids in a park across the road from the campus, waiting for news. We all celebrated together. We knew we would be broke. We knew there was no guarantee this would lead him to his dream. But we knew we had to try. Since that day I have spent many days in this wonderful university town. Once children were all safely off to school, I would escape with John and write essays for my degree, or work on my book in the library while he worked on his PhD. We spent our lunchtimes in the local health food shop enjoying their amazing soups, and sometimes in the best fish and chip shop in Wales right next door. We have spent hours in the coffee shop Conti's, sipping hot chocolate on a cold afternoon and discussing our findings of the day, perusing the many charity shops for bargains. A solid and wonderful part of my love for John comes from that town. Love of his bravery at re-entering education. Love of the stolen time away from the children together, like young students. Love of a beautiful little university town hidden away in the country where you can lose yourself in your dreams.

This song will always remind me of 2011

2012-01-24T14:56:00.001-08:00

Back to blogging

2012-01-24T13:05:00.000-08:00

It has been so long since I last blogged that I forgot I had one! I have sat here and read some of my old blog posts and apart from my inability to express myself eloquently it has been great to reacquaint myself with events, thoughts and feelings I had shared. I don't keep a diary or journal so this is my only attempt of writing anything down.
It would be impossible to write down everything that has happened over the last year so here is a summary in ten points.
1. Moved back to Wales from Spain.

2. All 13 of us moved in with husband John's heroic parents! For 6 months! (I think they are still in therapy.)

3. People renting our house moved out. We moved back in. Phew. Hurray!

4. John and I drive all the way back to Spain to get our stuff. Amazing adventure, sleeping in truck stops and visiting some much loved and greatly missed friends.

5. John finished PhD and I finish my book. I know!

6. Our 18 yr old son moves out to live with John's brother in Birmingham to get a job and prepare for his lds mission. I cried and cried.

7. Friends from Spain move in with us, two families. One returned to Spain and the other moved next door and look like they are here to stay.

8. Kids all settled back into British education although living in Spain put them back a year. They did gain a language though so I have to look at the positive.

9. John and I had some amazing adventures in Hereford, Spain, Belgium, France, Dylan Thomas's boat house, Manchester, Lampeter and a Kate Rusby concert in Aberystwyth.

10. Spent an amazing Christmas in Belgium with our friends The Box Family. What a perfect way to end our year.

My walk home in the rain from Spanish Class

2010-02-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

The man holding his notebook over his pregnant wife's head.
The reflections on the wet ground that inspired my creative photographic mind.
The second look from the skinny, tall man, who moved into the road to let me by.
The giggling plaid attired school children in red tights running to their car.
The elderly couple squeezing in closer under one umbrella, with a youthful smile in their eyes.
The music in my ears.
For the woman wearing that wonderful smelling perfume.
Fresh bread.
The feel of the soft rain on my hands and face.
The orange glow that fell from every direction.
The bearded man who looked like my husband when we first met.

All these things made me smile.

Change

2010-01-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

Just the word change is too much for me right now. I am all changed out. I have loved this adventure of moving to Spain. New home, new ward at church, new language, new friends, new culture, new weather (although it does feel like British weather right now with all the cold raininess). The list is endless. They even drive on the other side of the road here. I have to remember every time I cross the road so I don't get hit by a bus.

We have recently experienced Three Kings Day here. The children here have their gifts delivered to them by the three wise men while they sleep and they open them on the 6th January. The night before they have a big parade (which happened to be down our street, right outside our front door, very useful). The kids all bring a bag and people in the parade throw sweets and toys to them. There is a fun, festive atmosphere and my kids loved it. Although they loved it, and enjoyed the parade we did not embrace this tradition. We still had our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day as we would have back in Wales. The three wise men did not visit our home with gifts on the the 6th. I think some changes need to be done slowly, or not embraced at all.

I finally finished reading The Life of Pi by Yann Martel and the character Pi discusses change as his family plan to emigrate to Canada. He asks the question why would we do this? Force ourselves into the discomfort of change? Because we believe it will take us to a better life. We will benefit from it.

So we sat in family home evening and I asked each of the children to say one benefit of moving to Spain. It was not easy for all of them as some of the kids are finding this move very difficult. But in the end each one came up with something. The benefits already have been huge and we have only been here a few months. So although our family have invited enough change that would take a lifetime to get used to. We are enjoying some of the benefits now. Sigh.

Not over the moon

2009-11-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Everywhere I look right now here in Spain there are advertisements for the New Moon film from the Twilight series. I have not seen the film, a good friend took my girls to see it. I have nothing much against it except like anything too sickly sweet I couldn't face it, I have overdone it. I read all the books. I don't like my kids reading books without me at least knowing what it is about. I have read all the Spiderwick and the Harry Potter series.

My father was in a Coma for eleven days and so I borrowed my girls books and read them one after another. I am not a fast reader. I have to read every word - a bit obsessive compulsive. I never grasped the talent to skim-read. But I read these books fast. I read them through the night and got frustrated that I could not get hold of the last book and begged my niece to lend me hers, thanks Elizabeth. To me these books are like chocolate; sweet, addictive and not necessarily good for you, but in moderation not bad for you either.

I think there is a place in literature for chocolate. My daughter Devon loves the Twilight books but she also reads Pride and Prejudice, Emma, books I would put in the category of main course. Essential nutrients to help us grow. But I like chocolate now and again and don't see any huge harm in it. I would perhaps ask the question, why are the Twilight books addictive? What is the chocolate? Stephenie Meyer writes addiction very well for teenage women and women in general. I admire her for it, she has found something that sells and sold it and made a lot of money in the process, how nice it would be to be financially safe! I think she writes infatuation. She writes about fantasy. The fantasy women have about love. Here is a cold, beautiful, vampire, a statue-like man, Edward. . . and she adores him? I read it thinking, no way would I want to cuddle up to a block of ice. But he is strong and protects her - our handsome hero women long for. Perhaps because the boys and men in our life disappoint, so we need to have a fantasy character to lust after. It balances out the reality.

Perhaps you might think lust is too strong a word? I am not sure. Have you seen the way most teenage girls behave when you just name Jacob Black after seeing New Moon? Reminds me of the way some of my parents generation behaved around The Beatles. I was just going to say that I have never behaved that way, but a group of Capoeira martial artists did a display on television the other day, and. . . well John is still teasing me about it. So I am guilty of a little feminine ga-ga-ness. My last blog post addressed the subject of image, how we should not look on outward beauty to see a person's worth. I am sure the Capoeira men have sweet spirits.

Does anyone remember the Pride and Prejudice film where Colin Firth walks out of the pool after diving in for a swim? Hmmm? Mr Darcy!

OK not as impressive as I remember it, but when I first saw it, I melted! So is this the chocolate? Is this OK? Women have always swooned! In medieval times it was seen as a masculine trait, then there was a transition and it became a feminine weakness, the word hysteria (which comes from the word womb) described our silliness. Men's hysteria was healthily expressed through art, poetry, song. Women were just seen as silly. Is it silly? We feel it's safe to have fantasies in characters such as actors, actresses (such as Jude Law, N :-) ). So to swoon or not to swoon? That is the question. Is it healthy fun? Just shout the name Jacob Black in a high school and see how many girls scream and swoon!! Healthy?

Does my bum look big in this blog?

2009-11-25T07:34:00.000-08:00

My daughter marched into the kitchen and announced that she was officially fat! She does not have an inch of fat on her. Of course I have more concern about this behavior because I was bulimic as a teen. I know how deluded you can be in your youth.

Image is so important here in Spain. The women are immaculate. While I look half dead, hair sticking up and wearing sweats at 7am when I go out to get the bread and walk Sid my dog, I see women heading out to work looking perfect, child under arm also looking immaculate rushing off to day care. There is no confusion, I don't wonder "is that a man or a woman" as I approach people here, the distinction is clear. The women wear designer skirt and trouser suits and their hair long. Short hair on women here seems to be rare. There is great pride in their femininity which does not in any way make them second class citizens. There is a strength that is clear in the way they carry themselves and the confident way they hold a conversation. Ok I am making huge stereotypical generalizations here. Of course there are exceptions to this image I am describing. The school my younger children attend has a large gypsy population around it and the women there are similar to the hippies and farmers of Wales where I have come from. When I reach the school gate there are women in pink slippers and dressing gowns, I actually look like I have dressed up to take my kids to school.

I watch my girls especially and wonder how this all effects them. We are not a rich family and most of their clothes are given to us or passed down in the family. I never hear a complaint, but I do see them choose carefully what they like and they all have their own very different style. I may be reaching 40 next year but I remember clearly being a teenager and the terrible clothes I wore. I can't believe skinny jeans are back in! My Mum would not buy me any when I was 16 back in 1986 so I sewed my own. Ha! They were ridiculous. Of course they were not at the time because it meant I fitted in, I thought I was being modern and different, just as my girls do. John refuses to buy our girls skinny jeans.
I was looking at some photos of an on line friend with her now husband in the 80's yesterday laughing at the familiar 80's clothes and hair styles, how we cared how we looked.

We are taught on the one hand that beauty is within yet we also spend a lot of time on our images. I have found it interesting that the general young womens president in our church, Sister Elaine S. Dalton, is teaching our young women that beauty comes from within and she looks Barbie doll like, with her perfect unnatural blond hair and extra white, white perfect teeth. I think she is an amazing young women's president, so down to earth and fantastic for our young women. But for me a mother of teen girls I listen to her talks and wonder what our young women hear? She jokes about how she knows what boys are looking for as she has been told by her own sons. She says they are looking for inner beauty and virtue. I don't doubt this. But if I lined up a group of young women who were all amazingly inner drop dead beautiful (I know that is not grammatically correct lol) the choice would also be made from outer beauty too - I have teenage boys too. I am just talking about image here and what our young women see. When I was a young woman it was much more important what I saw than what I heard. I believe we should do the best with what we have of course, and I am not being critical about Sister Dalton, she is fantastic and it is not her fault she is beautiful. I am just observing the facts and that is when you are a spotty, greasy teenager who has challenges with her own weight, shape etc. as most young women do. Surely seeing a general president who looks like Sister Dalton would make you want to diet, dye your hair and whiten your teeth. I have no answers here. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with that. I know if I had more money and time I would do the same.

I know that now at almost 40 I am happier with my self. I don't spend much time on myself. I have 11 children! But I know if I had felt about myself at 17 as I do now I would have had a completely different life, completely. I wish I could inject some of that into my girls. A knowledge that they are incredibly beautiful and any man in the future would be so very lucky to be with them. But I also know that my Mum used to tell me I was beautiful, she still does, and as a teen it meant nothing - of course she feels that way she is my Mum. So sometimes I look in my girls eyes as I tell them how fantastic they look and I see myself. Yea thanks Mum - whatever! The only answer I have is there has to be a balance between the two. Our bodies are temples and should be cared for and not abused, we should present ourselves the best that we can. But we should also have in perspective that it is just our body and if we are not nice people it means nothing. I honestly think that the reason I feel better about myself is that I am more secure, more secure about my talents and abilities, this I think makes me more attractive. Sister Dalton presents herself as a confident, virtuous, humble person, which of course is attractive and who shines with love for the young women she leads. I am grateful for this and know she is called by revelation to do the wonderful job that she does. I just worry that image becomes so important that the really important things in life get lost.

No hablo Español

2009-11-23T03:07:00.000-08:00

No hablo Español

OK we have lived in Spain for two whole months now, it is time I blogged. The photos above show us in our beaten up old mini bus traveling as a family to Spain and a few photos I have taken since we have been here.

Well if our plan was to shake up our life a bit, it worked. The drama, problems, and fun we have had since leaving Wales two months ago would take me months to write. So here is a brief summing up/report –

1.   We left Wales! We stayed with John’s brother Dave in Birmingham for a couple of days and then drove to Oxford for John’s academic paper. We then left Oxford for the tunnel, next stop France, we had every intention of stopping at hotels on the way and taking the weekend to drive to Seville. But John and I just kept on driving. Except for a few toilet and food stops we did not stop - as one slept the other drove. We finally arrived at our home at 2am Sunday morning after leaving the tunnel into France, late Friday night. Our now dear friends from church helped us unload our van into our new home – we slept.
2.   Paperwork! Oh how they love paperwork here in Spain and we are not even half way through. We spent the first week filling in forms going from one office to another. What took us a week would have taken us months and months doing it all alone, but our friend Jordi had prepared everything in advance of us coming and drove us around and translated everything we needed to know. After a week we had all the kids in school and had most of the official paperwork we needed to live here.
3.   Injuries! Our children have become so unbelievably accident-prone. Jared fell from monkey bars and could not stand up for half an hour; we thought he had broken something. Jared has also fallen head-first off a park bench winding himself, fallen while his brothers chased him and his little finger swelled up and is still purple and bruised . . . well to count all his bruises would take days. Similar stories for all the children. Caitlin was rugby-tackled by Cam and ended up at a local clinic in terrible pain, she then had a whole week off school while her leg healed. The list is too long. Watchers of Michael Moore's SiCKO will be glad to know that health care is free here too.
4.   Emotional drama! Of course we knew that this was going to be difficult. But we didn't know that it would be this difficult. The children are all starting over. They do not know the language here. They had no friends. I do appreciate the fact that we are a big family, which of course has its benefits, no one is lonely. But there have been a lot of tears and drama, which has left me drained. I don’t want to highlight any particular drama as it may upset some of the children, but for John and I this has been the most pushed-to-the-limit we have been as parents. Yet I sit here with everything calm and well. The children happily went off to school; they have all quickly made friends and are slowly learning the language. We knew that their education would suffer a little but decided as a family that learning a new language was more beneficial and they can catch up on the subjects. I do still worry about their education though honestly.
5.   Everything keeps breaking! Our van wheel fell off as we were driving a few days after we had just had it fixed by a local garage! Our washing machine has broken twice and there does not seem to be any launderettes here in Spain – wth? Our car got broken into and is still missing the window as we still have not had it fixed. I accidentally smashed the kitchen window moving a chair, we still have not had that fixed so there is a lovely cool breeze blowing through the house night and day. We are on much less money than we were in the UK so affording to fix anything is interesting. Owen sat on Cameron’s laptop breaking it, which we did replace immediately to protect Cameron’s mental health.
6.   Nothing is going in! I have been learning Spanish since we have been here and I still look blankly at anyone who talks to me. I pick out a couple of words I understand, like 'tambien' or 'algo', etc. But it just seems to be the little words I remember, I have no meat yet, I just seem to have a few side dishes. John and I have both been given callings in our Spanish speaking church, John is second councilor on the bishopric and I am first councilor on the relief society presidency. John was promised in his setting apart blessing that we would be blessed with learning the language here – so here’s hoping!

That all sounds very negative. There are so many wonderfully good things. We have no regrets and know that we were supposed to be here. We have visited some amazing places, we have enjoyed beautiful weather, we have had the honor of meeting some amazing people. There is no doubt in my mind that forcing yourself out of monotony changes your life. It is a humbling experience learning a new language and finding your way around a new country. I still do not drive very much here as the one-way roads and confusing road systems still scare me a little. But I feel that I have given my children a gift coming here, the gift of experience, a new language, new friends, an important new aspect to life with tolerance and acceptance of other people’s differences. I hope they will look back in a few years and see it that way. I hope they do not look back and hate us for forcing these new changes on them and shaking them up a bit. One thing I do know, they will never forget these experiences, their days will not be a blur of doing the same thing day in, day out. Their memories will be clear and lasting because of the break from the norm. Clear and hopefully wonderful!

16

2009-09-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

I look back at when I was 16. Scary. I left high school with few qualifications and went to Geneva to be an au pair. I bolted! The first thing I did when I got off the plane was go and have my ears pierced. My father had been strongly against us making holes in our body. I looked around for better authoritarian figures. So I should not be heart broken when my 16 yr old does the same. Should I?
Yesterday my oldest son looked me in the eye and told me he did not need me any more. He could look after himself. He had decided he did not want to move. He was going to stay and live with his Grandparents. He was angry. He even said "don't punish us because of your insecurities! Just because you think everyone hates you!" WHAT THE HECK!!! I pointed out that trying to throw my weaknesses at me did not give his argument strength. There was a lot said and we came to an agreement about giving it until Christmas. Not my idea. I was exhausted, hurt and thrown because here was a boy that had never challenged me in any way. He never complained, he never asked for anything. Oh no! I suddenly saw his whole life. I have moved him 10 times in 16 years. I have left him on his first days of school in new schools crying. I have wept all the way home. His birth father left him when he was 8. He had supported me through the divorce and disappearing act of his Dad. Embraced his new Dad and made the best of everything. Here was a 6ft hero in front of me. 16. Thinking he is so grown up and ready to take on the world by himself.

I am a Mum. What do I do? Cry. I realized that Mums are like big huge pieces of play-dough. Their kids come and take a handful, looking for the right colour that they need. We smile and try to smooth over the hole, hoping no one will notice. It is completely impossible to put into words how much I love this boy. I realize I will never be ready for him to go. It is inevitable, that is what I have been training him for. I have had 16 years of adoring from him, the fact that he thinks he can make it alone now means I have done a good job right?
Anyway. 16. An age where you see your parents' faults (although I do not think everyone hates me, I don't think anyone hates me), an age where you want to be treated like an adult, an age where you want to make some choices that are not your parents' to prove your adultness. I remember it. My boy seems to be doing a much better job of it than I did. And, no, I would never want to go back and do it again!

Happy 39th birthday, Louise.

2009-09-09T15:43:00.000-07:00

Louise, you have shown me the greatest example of sacrifice that a person can give. I am a mother of 5 and always have on lookers see me and ask, "How do you do it". Well it's nice for me to look at someone else and say,"How do you do it". Well, I've seen you in action. I've seen you sacrifice with your children, family, everyone and seen how your life is so successful and how you are truly a great mother to follow. A mother who manages (and this is the key) to look after, care for - spiritually and temporally, respect, treat well, do all that is needed for her family.

You have the balance of giving yourself time but never at the expense of others. I'm glad you're my friend. You are someone that I'd like to be a more like. You have definitely shown me how to be a great mother. I love you. God has blessed me to know you in my life. xxx

-Julie J.

I barely know you at all and yet I think you are one of the most wonderful people that I know! How that is possible? Must be because your sweetness is able to navigate this digital medium. I can't wait to get to know you better and hopefully meet soon. You (and your family -- yes... all of them!) have a(nother) place to stay in Canada anytime. :-)

-Julie D.

Happy birthday Louise. I only got to live in Southport for a year before coming to the states but i loved having early morning seminary at your house and all the fun things we did. You are an inspiration of motherhood to me. I finished college in England but never had time to get my degree here in between having kids and raising a husband :) So you have shown me that its possible to juggle it all--church,lots of kids and school! You are awesome.

-Wendy J.

Louise, my crazy little sister . Always a law unto yourself, you have always seemed to make good after getting into bad situations. You never cease to surprise. 39 years old and still alive for one thing! But seriously though, getting a first in your degree while raising 11 kids is nothing short of a miracle! Happy birthday Lou and I hope you have a great adventure in Spain. xxx

-Scott

They say still waters run deep. Well, Lou, you are deep as an artesian spring but about as still as a mountain torrent. When we first met 20 years ago, me a missionary serving in Southport and you a ward missionary, your offbeat sense of humor, unique style, and fab taste in music made you somewhat of an iconic figure to a young, naive farmboy so far from home. You were both cosmopolitan and earthy. Sophisticated and simple. Irreverent but full of faith. A paradox by all means, a friend for all seasons. As young people we go through many changes, make many decisions, travel many paths and sail uncharted waters and you taught me how that frightening journey could be made facing into the wind and shouting with defiance and glee at the elements that opposed you, while keeping an eye on the heavens with a sure knowledge that somehow, all would be right. I hope you are passing that same spirit on to your progeny and I will always be proud to know that I have a great friend in you.

-Eric O.

I admire you Louise, of course, for your photography skills! But as well, you're open about your feelings and you're clearly a good mom. You're obviously persistent - getting through ANY degree with kids-- 1 or 11-- is tough. You have mad love for John & your friends. I admire you getting through your past relationships to be the person you are now and I love your "no chocolate till christmas or bust". Makes me want to be a better dieter.

-Gabrielle V.

Louise, I know that I don't know you well, but I have been extremely impressed with what I have seen. After postponing finishing up my education to raise my 6 children, I find your story extremely inspirational. As my younger children leave toddlerhood, I look to you as an example of how I'd like to model the next stage in my motherhood. I love the posts you write and enjoy seeing your cleverly worded tweets, and look forward to knowing you better in the future. Best of luck in all your new adventures!

-Charlotte L.

Louise, I admire your photography and your writing. I think it's awesome that you're a motorcycle racer. What's especially impressive is that you're able to be a mother to eleven children and earn a college degree. You are an admirably honest, open and welcoming person.

-Rod

I would just like to say that you were very inspirational to me during school. Even then you had time for everyone I wish you well and thank you.

-Lorraine M.

I admire you for finishing a college degree while having 11 children to deal with and having your own studio space and business!

-Emily

Louise, YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE!!!!! And I love you just for that alone. You've been my rock, my mentor, my friend, an inspiration and a great joy to know. I hope that, no matter where you are, what you're doing, that you know you are truly loved by me and many, many more. xxxxx
All my love.

-Hazel

I will never forget that evening when I looked after ALL those kids, babies and toddlers many moons ago in the temple accommodation for you. lol! and look at them now all grown up lovely, happy, fun etc = you've definitely must have done something right! - a GREAT Mum :) Happy Birthday, Louise.

xxx

-Karen B.

I am truly amazed that you have time and energy to take care of and enjoy such a large family and you seems to handle it all with an amazing sense of humor. I also appreciate the genuine love you and John seem to share. You appear to have an immense amount of respect and adoration for each other.

-Stephanie H.

I feel privileged to share my love and thoughts.

You are like an incandescent flame shining brightly reflecting your love and incredible energy to those around you. Your amazing creative talents do not diminish your caring for the welfare of others and your intense love for her family. I will always have a great love and admiration for you, Louise.

-Angela G.

You were a councellor of mine when I served as Young Women's President, and I will be forever grateful for the support and help you gave me while I was there. You are a 'just get up and go' kind of lady. You just do things with so much confidence - and do them so well! You are completely reliable - any time I asked to do something, you would always go above and beyond to try and help. I don't know of any other woman who could successfully raise 11 children, do a degree (and get a first), magnify her church callings, run a home and be a to
tally supportive and loving wife. You're Wonder Woman! Love you Lou - thanks for everything, you are a star! All my love. xxx

-Hannah P.

I have wonderful memories of spending time with you and your family in Southport. Remember, we first met when I was 14 years old, visiting England for the first time and on my way to living in a foreign country. You were just so nice to me and made me feel so welcome, and then after we settled in Zimbabwe you wrote to me regularly. I was lucky enough to see you again 2 years later when we were moving back to Canada and again you were so good to me - the perfect hostess!

-Andrea F.W.

Lou, you are a portrait of motherhood and a pleasure to know.

-Giles

You are so kind and great at many things that can't be put into one sentence.

-Jorel

You are a lady of many talents. Your resources are extra- ordinary. I see a lady of strength and integrity. You have always been such a solid friend to me, stoic, patient,
accepting, funny, understanding, compassionate, and always willing to help when called upon. Thank you for being in my life, Louise.
-Sofia

You are a motivated, inspired lady. Wonderful, great inspiration, fun, energetic, creative, positive, compassionate.

-Angela

You are a great mum, fun to be with. You have a daft sense of humour and were a great friend when I needed one.

-Catherine H.

What an incredible woman! You amaze me! I feel tired just thinking about what you achieve each day. To cope with eleven children, cooking, cleaning, washing, studying, and a church calling, and then still have the energy to wrestle your husband to the ground! I'm so glad we've had the opportunity to build friendships and we feel blessed to have had our limited time getting to know you and love you. We wish you a happy birthday and all the very best for your adventures in Spain. We love you and admire you. Lots of love!

-Nic and the Harris Gang

There's a bond that I can't express, but having that connection helps me every day, because I know how much you love me. You are supportive and caring, and I'm grateful for that. It's a comfort knowing that you are always there. I'm really going to miss you! Hugs and kisses!

-Shelley

I remember you were always the entertainer in the family, the fun one. You always loved life and had a lot of friends. You are the most fun in the family.

-Liesl

Since I have got to know you in the last few years, I have been impressed with your zest for life, your get-up-and-go.

You are a wonderful mother and I am constantly amazed with how you just rolls up your sleeves and get on with whatever is put before you. You have given me beautiful nieces and handsome nephews, without whom my life would be empty.

I am so proud of you for achieving your degree (but with the gorgeous photos you take, how could you not?!) and so pleased that you could do that for yourself!
It is so wonderful to see you in such a happy, loving relationship. I am so grateful that you found John - someone to support you, love you, comfort you and be there for you and the children.

I love your infectious laugh!

Love you, Lou xx

-Antonia M.

As you are a wee bit older than me I always thought you were amazingly cool. As a child I remember visiting my Aunt and Uncle and playing dressing up in an old turquoise dress with a net skirt. We always fought over who got to wear it! Now I think you are awesome. You are a great mum, wife and friend. I have no idea how you manage everything but am very impressed that you do.

xxxx

-Alex F. V.

Louise, I think you are an utterly BRILLIANT person! You are a FANTASTIC wife (I can tell because of how happy you are obviously making - my old friend - your lovely John!). You are an AMAZING mother (I know because of how happy and 'loving-life' your zillions of children look in all your photos!). You are EXCEPTIONALLY CREATIVE and TALENTED (I get that from your WONDERFUL photography and, I'm sure, there are many other strings to your bow ...). You have a really FUNNY sense of humour (I can see all the fun oozing off your face
book pages!). You are HONEST and SENSITIVE (I can tell from having read bits 'n' bobs on your blog!). I admire you for all you have achieved, and I hope we get to meet some day. :) Happy Birthday! xx

-Nyree Kilgour

I have deep admiration for you, Lou. You have enough gumption, joi de vivre, and creativity to fill a minibus, studio and large Mill several times over. (No wonder you need to travel abroad for a while.) You are one of the few people I know who will listen to the points of view of others and seriously weigh them up, to consider if and how they might be of value to you. It has been a pleasure to work with you and to get to know you better as a friend over the last few years. You're a star.

-Vince

Lou, you are one of those rare people who genuinely embrace change. Most of us are fearful of it, or at least happy
to stick with the safety and comfort of what we know, but you are never afraid to try something new even if it comes completely out of the blue. This is such a valuable life skill!

You are my friend. I have always hated the phrase 'just friends' because there's no 'just' about it. To be a real friend is a BIG THING! I can be relaxed with you and comfortable talking about nothing much, and yet I wouldn't hesitate to talk to you about pretty much anything in the world. I know you would listen with complete openness and tolerance even if you couldn't relate or didn't agree. You would offer what wisdom and empathy you could, and I could be entirely confident that I had not sunk in your opinion for anything I shared. What a thing to be treasured is that kind of friendship.

You are an outstanding mother, having somehow seemed to capture that elusive mixture of discipline and yet friendship with your children. You give them both security and the knowledge that they are free to experience and learn the world for themselves. I can only hope to achieve so much.

----

(OK, I'm going to stop at that 'cause I'm tearing up already-- it's way too late and I'm tired and over-emotional! I seriously don't know what we are going to do without John and Lou. I'm only just starting to fully realise this. Anyway, great idea for a gift - if there was ever an amazing well-rounded, multi-talented person who completely does not know it, it's Lou.)

-Naomi

[Included this aside. It was precious and so right on the money.]

Lou, I am so glad that you are my sister-in-law. I feel that we have had similar experiences growing up in large, strong families in the church and that means we often have similar opinions and views which is always good when trying to deal with those Burton men. I love the strong emphasis that you put on family time and from your actions it is clear that there is nothing more important in your life. You are raising happy and confident children which is the greatest accomplishment of all. I know this is a lot to read but I think you are one of these Invisible Mums. Happy Birthday, Lou.

-Marie.

You have done a fantastic job in raising the children, who have all turned out to be children who are praised by everyone, and at the same time achieved a 1st class degree with honours. I am full of praise for you. AMAZING.

-Dad Burton

If ever I need someone for help, I know that you will always be there, and I love you for that. I will miss you very much. You are a wonderful daughter-in-law. Happy Birthday.

-Mum Burton

I am incredibly blessed to have a mum like you! :D I know that you always have things to do but you still have time in the day to talk and spend time with us!!!! You are an amazing example to us and you have helped us a lot!! When I'm upset or mad I know I can always turn to you! (Except when I'm angry with you!) :P Thank you for being an amazing mum! Happy Birthday have a great day!! Love you loads. x x x x x x x x

-Caitlyn

Happy birthday mummy!! :D You are such a great example to me!! You have taught me so much and helped me when I felt upset or angry!! You have put up with all the stupid things I have said and and done for so many years, and for that I am incredibly grateful!! I don't know how you do it!! We're all pigs yet you manage to guide us, love us, keep us strong in the church and everything that a mother could do!! And waaaaay more!! I love you so much and I am so glad you are my mother! Even though you tease us a lot about CERTAIN things ;) haha, you are also an amazing woman and I am so glad to have you as an example of what I should do and be. I love you so much that you wouldn't believe it!! Have a good time missus!! :D xxxxxxxxxxxx

-Devon

You're a great mum! I love you! Hope you have agreat birthday! Thank you for everything you put up with! (us!!) You're a great person to be around! Always smiling. Thank you for always being there for me!! Love you loads. x x xx x x

-Cerys

I love you mummy! Thank you for the yummy treats!! Happy birthday! xxxx :D

-Imogen

Mum, I think you're the BEST!! I couldn't ask for a more hardworking mum! I will love you for EVA! I love all your hugs 'n' kisses and I'm not embarrassed to be around you! :P I LOVE YOU MY AMAZING, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS MUMMY!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

-Ceiledh

Mum you're an amazing photographer as well as a mum!! I could write loads but you already know how much you mean to me! xx

-Cameron

Mum you're great!! Thank you sooo much for everything! xx xx

-Harry

Your hair is nice! You're a very, very nice mum. A great cook and I love you loads. xxxx

-William

I love that you always give me hugs and kisses before bed and that you always help me read and write. I think you're an amazing cook! I love you mummy. xxxxxxx

-Caleb

I love Mum and I love her stuff. Thank you, Mum, for helping me read and write. You are an amazing helper.

-Jared

Mum, you're very creative and always seems to know what to do. You're a great cook, have good taste in music, and you're a great mum.

-Owen

Mummy Louise, first off I want to tell you how amazing you are! And how much I actually love you! :) (Which Is A HUGE Amount!!!:)) Thank you for taking me under your wing and taking care of me, and loving me like your own daughter. You are such an amazing example to me, and have taught me a lot that I will take with me through life and never forget! :) One of your many talents, is that you listen and you totally understand, and you give the BEST advice ever. You always made time to listen to me, no matter what you were doing or where you were, and when we had finished chatting, i would feel 100% better! I am deeply greatful for that! :) I just want to let you know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. You are a great strength to me, and I know that if there is anyone I need to turn to, I know that you will always be there! :) You are loved by sooo many people who admire what you have achieved in life and for just being YOU! :) Thank you for everything! :) x x x

-Sarah

Yes suckers, I am a lucky man. You are everything they say and more. You also have magical healing powers, and ninja skills. You are my kind of woman-- pretty, smart, and funny. Your ducks are in the right order; you even rearrange my ducks from time to time. You are a person who is not afraid to feel things. I have seen you tremble with love for people. I have seen you give when you felt empty. You are my leading lady, and I smile to myself when I think that after a long day is over you want to be with me.

-John (the good looking one)

Letting Go

2009-09-05T05:22:00.000-07:00

John and I queued in Lidl yesterday laden with shopping. I noticed the lady at the check out, blond, Polish, mid 20's. Lidl cashiers are renowned for putting your shopping through at top speed, dropping cans onto soft bread and throwing you out the store leaving you needing counselling for post traumatic stress disorder. But this girl was having trouble concentrating on scanning the groceries of the woman in front of us. Then I noticed why. She could not take her eyes off John. Ha! Made me laugh right away. Not only that, but when she noticed, I had noticed she just gave me a big smile as if to say "caught me, but I don't care". John then looked from one of us the other and caught on (men can be slow about this type of thing). I then left him to pay and receive the change. John then commented "I have never had 'come to bed eyes' when receiving grocery change before!" We both laughed and left the shop.

It was only later that I realized how far I have come. Not only did I enjoy the whole experience of a woman checking out my husband, but I felt secure and non-threatened in any way. She was attractive, blond, and since Poland is part of the EU, she was not looking for a British passport! Yet I had not taken anything from the experience but amusement.

I had had one bad relationship after another. I used to think that only losers were attracted to me. It was maturity and life experience that taught me that it was actually me that was attracted to losers. I had numerous boyfriends and one husband cheat on me. So there are some scars there and I have been overly jealous and unnecessarily wary about female attention directed at my husband.

So what has changed? Well I have learned that there are women out there better than me. There are more attractive, more talented, more funny, more everything. And that is ok. I am me. I have my own unique mix of positive attributes and I have to trust the fact that John has chosen me because of them.

John has an academic friend who can do everything . . . and she is attractive! She sings opera, acts, teaches at Queen's University in Northern Ireland, plays numerous instruments to perfection, travels, is an interior designer, rich and single. She is a wonderful friend to John and supports him with is PhD and has certain things I don't have in common with John. I have learned that that is just fine. If he had wanted an academic for a partner, he would have chosen one. I have started to let go of worrying about being everything to John. I can never be everything. But I can be his One. I am his love, his life, his future. The mother to his wonderful kids. The tenacious driving force that encourages him in every positive move he makes in his life. I am his wife! But I am not everything.

I have recently had an experience that shook me a little. John and I have an close friend that he shared some intimate details with. He sat and talked to me about what he had shared and asked if it was ok? We had to regroup. We had to decide what was just for me and him and what could be shared. What could threaten us. We are not impervious. We are not indestructible. We have our weaknesses. There is a certain amount of appropriate policing needed. I don't have all the answers to this. We are counselled by our church leaders to be careful, to protect that sacred bond of marriage. To keep certain things just for our partners. I do struggle with this myself sometimes; not that I have a problem keeping my covenants, but just knowing where these boundaries should be. "Marriage partners must be loyal to one another and faithful in their marriage covenants in thought, word, and deed." John told me about a talk by Elder Packer that says we can not stop a bird landing on our head, but we can stop it building a nest there.

I think that my relationships with women in the past have been destroyed by my jealousy and my inability to celebrate their gifts and talents without me feeling it was taking something from me. I often remark to John how I see women much more territorial than men. But letting go has brought me so much. I have much more love for the women I meet in my life and much more love for John. I accept the love he gives me and love that other women can enjoy him.

But, please notice the name of this post. 'Letting Go'. It is in the present tense. I am not there yet :)

No Chocolate 'Til Christmas or Bust!

2009-08-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

The bust is actually where my fat seems to leave first (now is that fair?) But to be fat for cleavage sakes I know is not healthy. So Natasha (my Canadian friend who has just spent a few days with us here in Wales) and I made a pact that we would stay away from all refined sugar until Christmas Day. I'll be healthier, and besides, it will make Christmas that much sweeter.

I have tried to regulate my sugar intake so many times. I know how bad it is for my body in so many ways. I once gave up sugar for a whole year, but then when I have treated myself on my birthday or Christmas I slowly go back to being addicted and eating too much sugar again.

Why does it have to be one or the other?

I feel it has to do with my terrible self control, but I have a suspicion I now have more self control in my life - I did not drag the man who threw his sweet wrapper out of his window yesterday in a car park from his car and beat him over the head screaming "it is because of selfish imbeciles like you that this world is such a screwed up place!" I only thought it. I even communicated it to my husband. But I did not do it. So, you see. I have self control :)

I also know exercise is essential. Natasha already regularly goes to the gym, whereas that is something I need to implement into my life when I get to Spain. John tells me that we have a great women-only gym 5 minutes walk from our house in Seville. Although I do feel guilty about the expense (which motivates me to go more) I know it will be money well spent.

So on to a healthier, fitter lifestyle. Can you hear the genuine excitement in my printed tone? Can you feel the electrical pulse of momentum dragging me off my perhaps-I-shall-have-one-more-chocolate backside into the world of 'no thank you, that banoffee pie does look very nice but I think I will refrain'. Of course you can. That is why I have written this post. It is here to remind me of my resolve and overwhelming desire to turn my back on chocolate hell and move into healthy heaven, bustless or not.

Am I a friend?

2009-08-19T15:17:00.000-07:00

Moving to Seville has brought about some interesting conversations between John and I. Today we talked about friends. People we leave behind and new friends to be made. I am not one for having close friends. My family are my world and we are a close unit that depend on each other. I have always been quite self sufficient, not needing others (outwardly) but keeping my head down and getting on with life. John was commenting today on how I should be more open to others around me, more aware of others needs. Wow this makes me sound cold and unfeeling. Of course I have friends. Friends I love and depend on. But they are few and far between. I have often found women to be competitive, threatened and sometimes outright cruel. There is often a playground mentality where they want you to be their only friend and jealous for no reason. High maintenance 'friends' who leave you drained after a visit seem like too much for me right now when I have 11 children to raise and a husband to support. But then I don't want to be that kind of friend to others who is always needy and has nothing to give. So perhaps this can be a fresh start for me. John wisely said that friendship is not about finding the perfect friend but about ignoring the imperfections of the friends we have, enjoying the good they have to offer and the good that we can return. So when I say new start, it's not because here is a chance for me to make new friends, but a new start on appreciating the friends I have made over the years and being a better friend to them.

The Day I Died

2009-08-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

Hand-me-down kids

2009-08-03T03:37:00.000-07:00

Because of our move to Seville next month I am having a good clear-out. Of the house. My kids have too many clothes. This is because I have so many great friends who pass on their kid's clothes to me.

The scene is set: I get home from wherever and find a sack of clothes on my doorstep. This means one of two things. Either John has kicked me out or someone has delivered never-worn, over-worn, out-grown, or plain disliked clothes. I don't always know who they are from, sometimes there is a note. I take the sack into the lounge, empty out the clothes on my worn, over-loved rug, and it is like Christmas. The kids gather round and we see what fits who. Kids have a tendency to like the cute but impractical. Thus I always ask the question, "Now, would you wear it? I mean really wear it?"

So what is this stigma that seems to be connected to hand-me-down clothes? I have some friends I would never offer clothes to. They would probably look at me as if to say "how very dare you!?" There seems to be some weird pride thing that is attached. If I offer you clothes I am also treating you like you are poor, needy and pathetic? Not sure. I don't see myself as poor, needy or pathetic. Ok perhaps the poor one, well yes I can be quite needy. . . but pathetic. . . NO. Some of my favourite clothes have been given to me by my friends Hazel and Sophia.

So are you a hand-me-down type or not? I remember years ago when I lived in Bournemouth I was very particular about what my kids wore and worried about what people thought of me. I felt (and still do to some point) that people judge me on how my kids look. So when I go food shopping with my little girl wearing (this is true) her swimming costume, with a pink tutu over it and blue wellington boots and goggles, what does that say about me?

I care more about my little girl wanting to express herself through her clothing than I am worried about being perceived as a irresponsible parent. Hey, with this summer weather the swimsuit, goggles, and wellie combo seem like sensible day attire.

So, a big shout out to Helena, Sophia, Gill Taylor, Catherine (above photo taken yesterday of Caitlin in her beautiful dress passed on by Catherine), Hazel, Shelly, Sally, Nic, Dawnie, Joan, Julie and all those big-hearted women who have passed on clothes to my kids, saving us money and making my kids look beautiful!

Packing for Spain!!

2009-08-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

Ok so I am not packing like I should, but look what I can do!

you belong to me

2009-07-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

Sleep

2009-06-29T04:02:00.000-07:00

Sleep tells us so much about ourselves. If I google sleep I will find studies into what position we sleep in (I sleep in the fetal position), what side of the bed (I have to sleep on the side of the bed that is furthest from the bedroom door) or what we eat before crashing (nachos and cheese last night). Apparently eating a handful of walnuts before going to bed can help us sleep better and making sure our feet are warm. But even with great preparation before hitting the sack with a hot coa coa and some great sex, this does not guarantee us a good night's sleep! All the hidden anxieties I had forgotten about creep out in my dreams (last night I was dreaming that Imogen was falling from the top of a tall building and I couldn't get to her on time and an old lecturer was showing me photos of him and his wife jogging over a bridge in the dark????) John has taught me that all the weird dreams we have are just our mind's garbage disposal system dealing with all our unfinished or not acted on thoughts. Dreams apparently keep us mentally healthy and we need them. We are not supposed to remember them and there is no real significance in them except that they are to help us deal with the day we have just had. If we have a really stressful day (as i did Saturday), our brains can need to dream so much we wake exhausted. This is why I was so chilled teaching my primary class on Sunday and had no energy to even care that they have verbal diarrhea! So if we have no un-acted out desires or unexpressed words, no unfinished work, thoughts or deeds... we will sleep like a log! HA!

Sandi Thom Time

2009-06-29T03:59:00.000-07:00

I listened to this on my way home from the temple and it made me smile :)

Me Quiet?

2009-06-22T03:19:00.000-07:00

I laughed when I read this beautiful poem as John often comments on my inability to be quiet. I am sure I am not a constant babbling brook (I hope not!) So John this one is for you! LOL... photo by me and poem by Pablo Neruda

I Like You When You Are Quiet

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent,
and you hear me from far away, and my voice does not touch you.
It looks as though your eyes had flown away
and it looks as if a kiss had sealed your mouth.

Like all things are full of my soul
You emerge from the things, full of my soul.
Dream butterfly, you look like my soul,
and you look like a melancoly word.

I like you when you are quiet and it is as though you are distant.
It is as though you are complaining, butterfly in lullaby.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
let me fall quiet with your own silence.

Let me also speak to you with your silence
Clear like a lamp, simple like a ring.
You are like the night, quiet and constellated.
Your silence is of a star, so far away and solitary.

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent.
Distant and painful as if you had died.
A word then, a smile is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it is not true.

love the guitar in this 0-

2009-06-19T06:53:00.001-07:00

some lovely portraits

2009-06-18T11:33:00.001-07:00

32 stunning portraits

Rosie Thomas

2009-06-16T11:06:00.001-07:00

I read two poems today that made me smile...

2009-06-16T01:57:00.000-07:00

This one I can share (written from his experiences of fatherhood) Todd Boss-

This Morning in a Morning Voice

to beat the froggiest
of morning voices,
my son gets out of bed
and takes a lumpish song
along--a little lyric
learned in kindergarten,
something about a
boat. He's found it in
the bog of his throat
before his feet have hit
the ground, follows
its wonky melody down
the hall and into the loo
as if it were the most
natural thing for a little
boy to do, and lets it
loose awhile in there
to a tinkling sound while
I lie still in bed, alive
like I've never been, in
love again with life,
afraid they'll find me
drowned here, drowned
in more than my fair
share of joy.

Finally!

2009-06-15T13:05:00.001-07:00

After three years of stress, piles of undone laundry and kids sick of the camera following them around I went to pick up my results today and got a first (photography degree BA Hons) ! No words....

The Burton Family Music Video

2009-06-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

schoolfield stars

2009-06-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

The atmosphere of my children's school sports day was compelling. Each scream of support and delight hung in the air in a tangible and musical lilt for us all to help ourselves to. I did help myself and felt giddy with it's optimism, genuine love and wonderful humour! Run Shadog run! The sweet Welsh chime lifting the atmosphere further. I tried to capture it all with my camera snapping the running, the skipping the jumping, but gave up and left it still while I screamed RUN SHADOG RUN!!!!

The Exhibition

2009-06-09T04:36:00.000-07:00

I sat in a room of my fellow student's hopes and dreams all culminating into a rich mixture of thought processes and creativity. All very different, very personal. When the room was still I read The Golden Notebook and wandered the room reading "it takes a brave man to take any piece of earth and make it into something" and the taxi driver stereotype and fairy tales. When people entered we discussed Clézio and Grayson Perry, polite nods, sweet lingering smiles in gypsy skirts and photographic technical questioning from men with sunglasses on string. I sat waiting for the right time to catch an eye and distance myself from the uncomfortable presence of an onlooker, lets talk, he tells me about his eight children, she tells me this year is better than last.

2009-06-09T04:35:00.000-07:00

Marriage

2009-06-09T04:26:00.000-07:00

Rilke on Marriage...
The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. But once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.

Time just keeps on a movin'

2009-05-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

Photo I took yesterday while on the beach with family and friends. Great day out!

Happy Valentines!

2009-02-13T12:51:00.000-08:00

Me and my love!

Christmas at the temple

2008-12-19T03:29:00.001-08:00

I am fortunate enough to have parents that live directly across the road from Preston temple. This Christmas we have decided to spend Christmas with my parents and arrived last night. The journey takes around 5 to 6 hrs depending on whether your husband misses the junction or not :) (love you babe!) As we approach my parents the kids all try to be the first to see Moroni. (Moroni was erected on the top of London temple last week - fun to watch as they used a helicopter). I think back to when I was a child and as we approached London temple we would be looking for the spire. A memory I know my children will cherish when they are older. This morning my children are over at the temple with their Dad doing baptisms for the dead... a wonderful experience for them, their Grandpa works in the temple and will be helping. My parents love the temple and have always set a wonderful example to me - having the temple as an important focus in their life. They now both serve in the temple, my Dad has been assistant recorder for the past few years and sealer... they will probably enjoy a break this year when they are released... well the 4.30am rising a few times a week... some retirement. So this year I have the luxury of going to the temple and enjoying the grounds around the Christmas season... last night after we arrived we all walked over to see the christmas lights and nativity. I watched my children's eyes light up and the reverance they had in the grounds (most of the time). The wonderful spirit that is present there that you don't even have to enter the temple to enjoy. We look forward to our evening session tonight. x

2008-12-14T04:20:00.001-08:00

Long time no write!

2008-11-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

I was trying to think of all the things I have done since I last wrote an entry.... hmmm!! I have run a half marthon, I have been to Preston temple for a few days and last weekend London, I have watched my husband baptize our little Jared, I have taken a lot of photographs, I have started my 3rd and final year of my degree... written the first 4000 words for my dissertation. I have been to London for 3 days to look at one photo exhibition after another... I had very sore feet and spent a lot of time on the underground and became totally overloaded with images, but loved it. John and I are close to our 6th wedding ann. and have a trip planned in the new year... no kids!! That reminds me, I must call my Mum and ask her to have the kids... oops :)

Our 4 day break

2008-08-02T03:40:00.000-07:00

This week John had the option of having 3 days off work, so Monday we decided I would pack up and find a camp site near one of our favourite spots Llyn Brianne Lake. John met us there after we had put up the tent and we spent the next few days hiking, bbqing, playing and chilling. Much fun was had by all :)

Day 1
set up camp

Day 2
visit Llandovery for local icecream and provisions - park
Mum tries to learn how to juggle - hours later still have not cracked.... will get there
Petanque

Day 3
Hike along bird reserve trail. John told the little ones about a giant called Bill who lives up in a cave on the side of a slatey hill we passed and the kids spent the rest of the time screaming his name at the top of their voices (hope there were no bird watchers too near!)
Started a camp football game in the rain - it went on for hours! More and more kids joined in as the afternoon/evening went on - water fight!

Day 4
Pack up and then headed to Llyn Brianne for the day
Beautiful Lake, kids explored we also went to see the dam - always makes me a little nervous
Drive home :)

sweetness follows R.E.M

2008-07-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

Piano

2008-07-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Poem by Patrick Phillips

Piano

Touched by your goodness, I am like
that grand piano we found one night on Willoughby
that someone had smashed and somehow
heaved through an open window.

And you might think by this I mean I'm broken
or abandoned, or unloved. Truth is, I don't
know exactly what I am, any more
than the wreckage in the alley knows
it's a piano, filling with trash and yellow leaves.

Maybe I'm all that's left of what I was.
But touching me, I know, you are the good
breeze blowing across its rusted strings.

What would you call that feeling when the wood,
even with its cracked harp, starts to sing?

sweet moments

2008-07-01T10:22:00.000-07:00

Today my sweet moments were -

My little girl found my hand and squeezed it as we walked through town

The carpet fitter friend smiled at me when i asked how much - just buy me a mars bar

Seeing John's smile when he drove up from work when he saw me

Listening to my new Cold Play songs on my ipod

A friend popping in to offer me some work - a friend thinking of me

My Cerys running out of school and throwing her arms around my neck

Seeing my sister and remembering how much I love her

peeping in my teenage girls room and just seeing her feet as she is perched on her window sill knowing she is yet again engrossed in another book - off on an adventure in her head

Our little bit of heaven

2008-06-29T14:45:00.001-07:00

Today while chatting with my in-laws, my father-in-law shared with me how a friend had announced as he entered church - 'here comes Tony the richest bloke in (his village)', Dad laughed thinking... "what I don't have any money??" Then as he carried on walking into the chapel it hit him - he was the richest man in his village - he had blessings aplenty and he felt very rich.

The talks today in church were on how our hardships can be blessings and Kevin shared this story-

A farmer has a horse escape
His neighbour says - bad luck
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
The horse returns and brings 5 wild mare
neighbour - that's a bit of good luck
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
one of the horses when his son was trying to brake it bolts and the boy badly brakes his leg
neighbour - sorry about your bad luck!
farmer - could be good luck or bad luck
the army comes for the farmers son but because he has broken his leg he is spared

the story goes on, but you get the picture.

This story made me mull over the last year full of ups and downs and think about all the bad lucks that have become good lucks and vice versa.

A friend came round to visit with me this week and told me about a program she had watched the night before about an african tribe that worked very hard and as they worked they sang. The man making the documentary noticed they ended their songs with the same three words and asked the translator what the word meant. He was told - Happy - the word meant happy. My friend with a tear in her eye said "we think we have it all here in the west but where is our community spirit and happy, happy, happy".

I thought about this a lot after she had left and thought happy, happy, happy is actually all around us - our little bit of heaven really is where ever we are. Whether we live in Bolton, Liverpool or West Wales our happiness is totally dependent on us. We see film stars and billionaires in the media who seem to have all that life has to offer and they aren't happy, happy, happy. The look flippin sad, sad, sad! So with what god has given me, and he has given me lots and lots.... I have decided to be happy, happy, happy.

coldplay playing at the bbc

2008-06-27T13:12:00.001-07:00

Marie Curie

2008-06-27T03:19:00.001-07:00

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Fashion student shots

2008-06-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

This week I was asked to go into my local college and take photos of fashion student's work. The students had 15 minutes to have their model (one of the other fashion students) show their clothing using lighting and direction for posing etc. Some of the students had a clear idea of what they wanted and really enjoyed the experience and others ...... didn't. Anyway they all walked away with a disc of my images to hopefully use in their final assignment. It was great fun - a bit unnerving using different flashes and studio - but a great learning experience as well.

fare thee well - kate rusby

2008-06-17T12:13:00.001-07:00

Front page of www.utata.org!

2008-06-14T01:33:00.000-07:00

Sports Day

2008-06-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

John winning his Father's race at the kids sports day!

I remember as a child getting butterflies in my tummy before doing the egg and spoon race! Yes I was and still am very competitive. My family (a large family) are all competitive, perhaps because of that struggle for attention (jumping up and down "look at me Mum! look at me Dad!") Or perhaps it is genetic or something. For what ever reason I have always had that tummy knotting feeling before anything competitive and given it my everything. As I have hopefully matured with age and experience (lol...) I have taken on board the fact that although competitive I have not been very good at taking on criticism and being a team player, I think the quote goes “If you want to be incrementally better: Be competitive. If you want to be exponentially better: Be cooperative.” My little 7 yr old boy, Caleb, said to me at sports day before my Mum's race, "Mum it is not about winning, it is about having fun!" Out of the mouth of babes :) Although the butterflies do still come, I do have a lot more fun now in competitive situations, I think being a photographer and having had to submit a lot of work over the last year that has not always been a success, the skin thickens and the confidence grows and you realize that the only one responsible for making life fun is me! It's all about enjoying the competition rather than winning it - although I did win the Mum's race at my kids sports day HA!

Sparkling Organic Ginger

2008-06-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

Today I was at college all day. I woke with a painful stomach ache and left for college feeling pretty sorry for myself. Survived the very long day of preparation lectures for my third year. Hot and tired I arrived home to some sparkling organic ginger thoughtfully bought for me by John to help settle my stomach - it worked a treat and so did the reminder of what a great guy I am married to. :)

Try Again - Keane

2008-06-12T12:37:00.001-07:00

Poetry by Mary-Sherman Willis Photo by me :)

2008-06-12T12:27:00.001-07:00

The Laughter of Women

From over the wall I could hear the laughter of women
in a foreign tongue, in the sun-rinsed air of the city.
They sat (so I thought) perfumed in their hats and their silks,

in chairs on the grass amid flowers glowing and swaying.
One spoke and the others rang like bells, oh so witty,
like bells till the sound filled up the garden and lifted

like bubbles spilling over the bricks that enclosed them,
their happiness holding them, even if just for the moment.
Although I did not understand a word they were saying,

their sound surrounded me, fell on my shoulders and hair,
and burst on my cheeks like kisses, and continued to fall,
holding me there where I stood on the sidewalk listening.

As I could not move, I had to hear them grow silent,
and adjust myself to the clouds and the cooling air.
The mumble of thunder rumbled out of the wall
and the smacking of drops as the rain fell everywhere.

Healthy Competition

2008-06-01T14:56:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of Hannah Polland

Yesterday we took our teenagers, plus some youth from our stake to a regional youth sports event. The other stakes were Bristol, Cardiff and Cheltenham. I was so proud of our youth, who tirelessly competed and cheered each other on as well as youth from other stakes. Having a healthy relationship with your competitive side is a wonderful thing to see in young people. Seeing them just have fun and genuinely enjoying being part of the whole event was mature and lovely. A great day, very well organized by Aaron Mulligan - hope someone is brave enough to take it on and put it on next year.

John and I also had a chance to participate - which we are paying for now! I took part in the 800m, the 100m and the relay 4x100m. Great fun!

Where I am calling from - by - Raymond Carver

2008-05-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

I have read some great books since starting this blog and have not written about them. So I thought I would begin with the book I finished yesterday, Raymond Carver's selection of stories compiled into Where I am calling from. I had never read Carver before and found at times I was reading an autobiography, the writing was so personal. After getting about half way through the book I asked John whether Carver had had alcohol problems and more than one wife, as well as moving around a bit, John responded "yes, how did you know?" I told him it is all in his stories. His stories seem to mostly be about relationship problems, people are always smoking, drinking (there is also some pot in there), but basically about the American guy next door in the 60's. He opens up doorways into private lives and marriages, and I find his relaxed style comfortable and easy to read. I really got a feel of that time period in America through his personal experiences. He passes no judgement on his characters in true Christopher Isherwood style. The last story in the book throws you, because as I have said his other stories are all fictional but personal, whereas the last story is a true account of the death of Chekhov. Although it felt like it was a little out of place with the rest of the American drama stories, finding yourself watching Chekhov die actually makes you feel like going right out and getting another Carver book.... kind of a taste of what else he can write.

wrong turn

2008-05-24T00:38:00.001-07:00

Have a go John!

2008-05-19T01:58:00.000-07:00

One of the things I greatly admire about my husband John is his have a go attitude. Since I have known him he has had a go successfully at languages, D.I.Y, art, poetry and literature, education, musical instruments, the list is endless. I at first thought he had done all these things before but started to realize that he just didn't fear failure the same way I did and would just "have a go" succeeding and proving to me that actually that is what life is about. Those who dare are at least in the running for success, as those who take a step back have no chance. I see that he has inherited this from the Burtons, his father and brother are very similar and I see in all of them "if they can do it so can I" attitude. I have been very grateful for this example in my life and hope it rubs off on the kids too!! :) In this photo John is having a go for the first time on a bass, his Dad giving him tips and playing along on the guitar. I walked in and started to sing along (I don't have a great voice), but I had a go and was very proud of my self that I managed to keep the tune and enjoyed the moment. Too often in life I think I have walked past an opportunity to just have a go!

Growing up

2008-05-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

A year ago Caitlin and Devon would have never jumped into a river just for the fun of it. So what has happened in a year that has brought about this change? Well boys, they notice boys and want them to notice them - that always brings on a little courage that might have been lacking. But also I see them enjoying life more and have a little less fear they had last year. I see them already grasping that if you don't seize that moment and run and jump, you are actually missing out on feeling something you will never feel again - that moment is completely unlivagainable. I love that they have already caught on to this and are enjoying their youth. In these photos we had just been canoing and had escaped with minor wetness... yet they chose to jump in regardless and have some fun. You go girls!!

Summer Job by Richard Hoffman

2008-05-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

Summer Job by Richard Hoffman

"The trouble with intellectuals," Manny, my boss,
once told me, "is that they don't know nothing
till they can explain it to themselves. A guy like that,"
he said, "he gets to middle age--and by the way,
he gets there late; he's trying to be a boy until
he's forty, forty-five, and then you give him five
more years until that craziness peters out, and now
he's almost fifty--a guy like that at last explains
to himself that life is made of time, that time
is what it's all about. Aha! he says. And then
he either blows his brains out, gets religion,
or settles down to some major-league depression.
Make yourself useful. Hand me that three-eights
torque wrench--no, you moron, the other one."

These could be the good old days

2008-05-01T09:05:00.001-07:00

hmmmmmmm!

2008-04-28T01:09:00.001-07:00

You know when something just makes you laugh out loud - even though it is really dumb!! This was one of those times for me.

Photography exhibition

2008-04-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.aberystwythartscentre.co.uk/whatson/exhibitions/info/4977/

Today John and I went to see an exhibition in Aberystwyth at the arts centre. It was a look through some famous photographers eyes at English life in the 70s and 80s. It was titled "no such thing as society" which is a quote from Lady Thatcher. Obviously the title was supposed to be ironic as the images depicted the photographer's definition of our society. Images included from photographers such as - Martin Parr, Gilles Peress, Tony Ray-Jones, Jurgen Schadeberg, Graham Smith. John and I then spent an hour eating our packed lunch discussing the images and how we felt about this statement said so long ago.

Here is an image that was included by Martin Parr

Stone Roses Waterfall

2008-04-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

There are few songs from the 80's that have remained with me and this is one of them. I think some songs become timeless to you - not to my kids of course who will think this is ancient and compares with something from the renaissance period :)

My mask project

2008-04-20T08:09:00.001-07:00

Over the last couple of weeks I have been photographing people in masks as shown in the one of my friend Hannah I blogged a few days ago. John's Dad found a world war II gas mask. When I decided I wanted to use John as my model and how I wanted to shoot it he said "you want me to do what?" Thankfully he is so supportive of my work that he let me get the shots I wanted. :) Thank you my lovely man. I was trying to think of my next image for the series, as I have to have 6 when John suggested I do some self portraits. AAAAAAAAaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! Not something I enjoy doing as afterwards I can self hate for weeks. Thought to self 'If I really look like that I should start wearing that paper bag over my head again :)' I decided yes I would have a go and after setting up my equipment and finding my modeling light had blown again - bugger! - I had to decide what to wear. I had borrowed this mask from my friend Naomi and wasn't sure what would go with it - THE ZEBRA BOOTS! I bought these boots a while ago and felt so guilty because we really don't have the money to buy such luxuries as we find it hard keeping up with the amount of cereal our teenagers consume let alone ZEBRA BOOTS! I wanted the image to be vulnerable and not show my face or too much flesh (Bob forgive). So I put the mask on my leg instead and - because the studio was freezing - gave up after about 30 shots. True to form - I liked this one :) The rest - well I'll destroy them so any enemy of the future can't use them for blackmail purposes. So I now have 3 out of the 6.... x

My sculpture emerges

2008-04-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

I started this sculpture in September last year. It was part of my elective for my photography degree. Once a week I would go in and work my way through the process of creating a 2 and a half foot sculpture. I have loved doing it and know that at no time in my life would I ever get the opportunity to create something like this. I chose one of my photos as a theme, one of my friends Andy and Hazel I took of them silhouetted in the studio. I then produced a maquette (which is french word for scale or model) of what I wanted to do with clay. I then produced a wooden frame to hold the clay of my final clay scultpture which was then destroyed after I made a mold from it - have I lost you yet? Thought so anyway in the end I have a plaster mold which is much lighter than the clay one. da da!!! It is now at college being assessed - I see this as a one off experience and glad I did it - although it was hard work... much more work than the 20 credits achieved were worth. :)

Just a fab song

2008-04-12T06:30:00.001-07:00

Lately David Gray

SAFE

2008-04-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

love the song more than the montage. Travis Safe. This song reminds me of my relationship with John and how when you are in a good relationship and have the safety of a haven you can achieve anything you want.

microwaves

2008-04-10T09:52:00.001-07:00

My baroque session

2008-04-10T06:27:00.001-07:00

6
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Some more images I have from this shoot are here.

Fire starter!!!

2008-04-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

This song has real significance to me... When ever I am in an emotional situation and I am desperately trying not to cry I sing this song in my head and it is like giving me a slap in the face :) Helps me keep that british stiff upper lip lol....

Frank

2008-04-06T05:02:00.001-07:00

It actually snowed here last night. The kids went right out and scraped up enough snow to create Frank the snowman. I thought it was fab and took a photo.... apparently that is his pet mouse jack in front of him. It has snowed all day but the ground is too wet and it is not sticking so Frank is our only evidence that it actually snowed in Wales this year. :)

Cherry Ghost

2008-04-05T14:51:00.001-07:00

flirting with the sun

2008-04-05T14:48:00.000-07:00

prevention?

2008-04-05T11:33:00.001-07:00

Sleeping on sunlight by Frank Steele

2008-04-05T03:58:00.001-07:00

Part of a Legacy

I take pillows outdoors to sun them
as my mother did. "Keeps bedding fresh,"
she said. It was April then, too--
buttercups fluffing their frail sails,
one striped bee humming grudges, a crinkle
of jonquils. Weeds reclaimed bare ground.
All of these leaked somehow
into the pillows, looking odd where they
simmered all day, the size of hams, out of place
on grass. And at night I could feel
some part of my mother still with me
in the warmth of my face as I dreamed
baseball and honeysuckle, sleeping
on sunlight.

Easter Hols.

2008-04-02T11:45:00.001-07:00

the slide
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

The kids have had a couple of weeks off school now and we are just getting to the point where some of the kids - I wish all, are starting to sleep in and we are enjoying the pace of holiday time. Then we will have to go back to getting up early and running around like mad people again. My older kids took a picnic to a close by river for a walk today and the younger ones stayed with me playing in the garden with sand and jumping on the trampoline.... love it when we are outside and they are all away from computers, t.v.'s, game consoles. Childhood is so precious I hate it when they spend chunks of it mesmerized by a screen and their brain working on half a cylinder.

eternal love, maintain thy life in me

2008-04-01T01:23:00.001-07:00

by Sir Philip Sidney

Leave me, O Love, which reachest but to dust;

And thou, my mind, aspire to higher things;

Grow rich in that which never taketh rust;

Whatever fades but fading pleasure brings.

Draw in thy beams and humble all thy might

To that sweet yoke where lasting freedoms be;

Which breaks the clouds and opens forth the light,

That both doth shine and give us sight to see.

O take fast hold; let that light be thy guide

In this small course which birth draws out to death,

And think how evil becometh him to slide,

Who seeketh heav'n, and comes of heav'nly breath.

Then farewell, world; thy uttermost I see:

Eternal Love, maintain thy life in me.

and from me

2008-04-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

thinking of you

2008-04-01T01:16:00.001-07:00

lol...

2008-03-26T12:12:00.001-07:00

Easter

2008-03-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

We spent our Easter attending my niece's wedding and enjoying time with family and friends. I enjoyed catching up on missed lives. We took our children to see The Spiderwick Chronicles and went swimming. And remembered why we don't go swimming as much anymore :) We attended my childhood church for Easter Sunday and I enjoyed the nostalgia chatting to people who had watched me grow. I had mixed feelings or amusement (that no one seems to change much) and love for people who know and accept a different Louise who stands before them.

treasure

2008-03-25T15:14:00.001-07:00

treasure
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Clean up your eyes

2008-03-24T08:35:00.000-07:00

First half day at school

2008-03-24T08:22:00.001-07:00

Imogen went to visit her school for half a day on Thursday. She wanted to dress in her uniform and is lucky to have her cousin and best friend Erin starting at the same time.

Our journey

2008-03-24T03:52:00.000-07:00

On our way to my niece's wedding on Saturday, John and I passed the time by giving each other a subject and a word and then instantly coming up with some kind of poem or rhyme. John and I are both out of practice with poem writing so the challenge was fun and we found it quite revealing. I gave John challenges such as subject - fairground and word - burp, and forest with red ball. My favourite one that John did was when I gave him the subject dairy farm and the word was pilchards.

Dairy, it says dairy says Nigel
Though the man who paints the van
Wrote diary, as though Nigel
Was supposed to deliver portions
Of himself, Nigel's Diary delivered
To your door, how he likes Debbie
And the pilchards he ate for lunch
And the secret disclosures of himself
Given out to order
But it is all a mistake
He only delivers milk

John gave me some fun subjects but my favourite was cafe and romance. I don't know if I can remember much, but it went something like this -

Crammed into the Cavern Cafe,
they sipped from kitch crockery and
cooed while curling into their coffee,
lips cradling their cups,
leaning in for kisses
while neighbouring customers
cheer with their eyes or
close themselves with their arms.
Clumsy elbows knocking
shrieking
clapping apologies
brushed off clippings
then criss crossing out into the night
and clutching hands there is an awakening
a nervous glimpse to their audience
and gone

Beginning

2008-03-14T13:55:00.001-07:00

pathway 3
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Beginning
by James Wright

The moon drops one or two feathers into the field.
The dark wheat listens.
Be still.
Now.
There they are, the moons young, trying
Their wings.
Between trees, a slender woman lifts up the lovely shadow
Of her face, and now she steps into the air, now she is gone
Wholly, into the air.
I stand alone by an elder tree, I do not dare breathe
Or move.
I listen.
The wheat leans back toward its own darkness,
And I lean toward mine.

Life

2008-03-12T10:03:00.000-07:00

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

- Helen Keller

Butter wouldn't melt...

2008-03-10T04:58:00.001-07:00

:)
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Today Imogen -

Dressed our dog in a pink tutu
Made a potion in a jar of water - putting her brother's ipod in
tried to re-home our hamster
vacuumed up her brother's Lego
Tried on about 15 different outfits before deciding what to wear (leaving the clothes strewn through the house.)
Decided she wanted to eat the hot chocolate powder straight out of the jar.
The list goes on.....

best friends

2008-03-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

sculpture of a Panzer tank made out of balloons, from Hans Hemmert.

2008-03-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

Mother's Day

2008-03-02T12:20:00.001-08:00

Today I was mindful of Mothers. As it is Mothering Sunday, my children bombarded me with cards, crafts and kisses this morning. I started the day quite low because of a fall out with some family members yesterday and sat in thought wondering the best action to take on my folly. My seven year old son, Caleb, ran in and jumped on my lap and cuddled me. He could tell I was sad and asked me what was wrong. I just said that I had felt sad about something I had said to someone I loved the day before. With a big grin on his face he touched my face and said "say sorry then", and ran off. The simple logic and wisdom of children I sometimes find overwhelming and picked up the phone straight away and said my sorries. I spend my days sometimes in a blur of laundry, meals, running kids around in the car and kissing knees and soothing tender feelings. It's worth every bit of work..... someone once said... would you rather have, a rosebush with few thorns or with the finest roses, toil, sweat and pain are the birthplace of greatness.

Above is a photograph I took of my sister Michelle and my precious niece Jenna today as we went for our Sunday walk by a river. Her devotion, love and hard work that she demonstrates daily for her family is a constant reminder of the wonder of motherhood.

Deer

2008-02-26T10:26:00.001-08:00

On my way home from college this evening I saw these deer in a field about 2 mins drive from our house. What a stunning sight. John stopped the car and we just stood there in awe. The interesting thing is the deer found us just as curious. They stood there staring at us 'till we left. A couple driving past at the same time stopped as well and the man motioned to us as if to say "wow! What a blessing to have seen these amazing creatures on this beautiful evening". I am always grateful to have been reminded of the hand of God... I am aware these are surrounding me daily in what we would perhaps mistakingly describe as the mundane, but a rare sight of beauty, grace and wonder is like having it shouted in your face.

4 am

2008-02-25T07:53:00.001-08:00

xxx

2008-02-21T11:13:00.001-08:00

Light

2008-02-20T05:41:00.001-08:00

+++++
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.

Og Mandino

from up here

2008-02-18T07:35:00.001-08:00

from up here
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

Sometimes it's good to take a look at things from somewhere new. If we just did that sometimes we would probably be able to tolerate those around us much better.

“In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.”

Dalai Lama

the stick

2008-02-17T09:09:00.001-08:00

the stick
Originally uploaded by custardmonkeys

We have had a full week of blue sky and sunshine! Rare at this time of year. We have lambs, daffodils and trees in bud in February!!! We try and get out as much as possible to enjoy it... we know the rain is just waiting 'till we are lulled into a false illusion of sunshine and is will strike.